Women, were you ever taught the importance of finding a career or passion in life *other* than motherhood or homemaking?

[chetan115]

I grew up in the church and had (still have) very devout parents. Throughout the process of leaving the church, I’ve mentioned to them feelings of bitterness that, as a young woman, I did not have one lesson taught to me in church or in FHE or even in COLLEGE about how essential it is for women to find a passion other than motherhood/ homemaking. It was drilled into me year after year, lesson after lesson, that I need to do everything I can to:

1. Find a worthy husband to marry in the temple.

2. Don’t put off having children for any reason.

3. Devote your entire self to your husband and your children.

That is what brings happiness. Yes, you can get an education and maybe a career, but my brainwashed self didn’t even think twice about what career would make me happiest. I chose to get my degree in something that I could do during school hours so I could be home for my future kids, if I even worked at all. I got married at 21, had my first kid 2 years later, and eventually stopped working to stay at home with my kids. I love my family so much but for the longest time I struggled with severe depression because being a wife and a mother and doing household chores wasn’t enough for me. I felt like there was still a huge part of my life that was missing, and I felt SO guilty about it.

My husband and I left the church a year ago and have decided to be done having kids, which my parents think is heartbreaking and selfish (we only have 2). I still struggle with feelings of guilt and unworthiness when it comes to being a wife and mother, but it’s getting better. I’m on a journey to find something I’m passionate about that’s just for me. It just feels like I’m so far behind and pretty daunting thinking about going back to school for a different bachelors degree. Luckily, my husband is super supportive and I know he’ll do anything to help me.

[Verman]

1 hour ago, chetan115 said:

I grew up in the church

 

Were you homeless?

[Bercana]

24 минуты назад, Verman сказал:

 

Were you homeless?

I think, that's figure of speech

[Acura_Legend]

3 hours ago, chetan115 said:

My husband and I left the church a year ago and have decided to be done having kids, which my parents think is heartbreaking and selfish (we only have 2). I still struggle with feelings of guilt and unworthiness when it comes to being a wife and mother, but it’s getting better. I’m on a journey to find something I’m passionate about that’s just for me. It just feels like I’m so far behind and pretty daunting thinking about going back to school for a different bachelors degree. Luckily, my husband is super supportive and I know he’ll do anything to help me.

Make correction in your profile. If you have a husband that means that you are a female. Or .. may be you are quoting someone ?

[Kroxa]

4 часа назад, chetan115 сказал:

I grew up in the church and had (still have) very devout parents. Throughout the process of leaving the church, I’ve mentioned to them feelings of bitterness that, as a young woman, I did not have one lesson taught to me in church or in FHE or even in COLLEGE about how essential it is for women to find a passion other than motherhood/ homemaking. It was drilled into me year after year, lesson after lesson, that I need to do everything I can to:

1. Find a worthy husband to marry in the temple.

2. Don’t put off having children for any reason.

3. Devote your entire self to your husband and your children.

That is what brings happiness. Yes, you can get an education and maybe a career, but my brainwashed self didn’t even think twice about what career would make me happiest. I chose to get my degree in something that I could do during school hours so I could be home for my future kids, if I even worked at all. I got married at 21, had my first kid 2 years later, and eventually stopped working to stay at home with my kids. I love my family so much but for the longest time I struggled with severe depression because being a wife and a mother and doing household chores wasn’t enough for me. I felt like there was still a huge part of my life that was missing, and I felt SO guilty about it.

My husband and I left the church a year ago and have decided to be done having kids, which my parents think is heartbreaking and selfish (we only have 2). I still struggle with feelings of guilt and unworthiness when it comes to being a wife and mother, but it’s getting better. I’m on a journey to find something I’m passionate about that’s just for me. It just feels like I’m so far behind and pretty daunting thinking about going back to school for a different bachelors degree. Luckily, my husband is super supportive and I know he’ll do anything to help me.

"Я выросла в церкви, и у меня были (до сих пор есть) очень набожные родители.  На протяжении всего процесса ухода из церкви я говорила им о своих чувствах горечи из-за того, что, будучи молодой женщиной, мне не преподали ни одного урока ни в церкви, ни в FHE, ни даже в КОЛЛЕДЖЕ о том, насколько важно для женщин  найти другую страсть, кроме материнства / домашнего хозяйства.  Из года в год, урок за уроком мне внушали, что мне нужно делать все, что в моих силах, чтобы:

Найдите достойного мужа, чтобы заключить брак в храме.

Не откладывайте рождение детей ни по какой причине.

Посвятите себя мужу и детям.

Вот что приносит счастье.  Да, вы можете получить образование и, возможно, карьеру, но мое «промытое» сознание даже не задумывалось дважды о том, какая карьера сделает меня наиболее счастливым.  Я решила получить степень в том, чем я мог бы заниматься в школьные часы, чтобы я могла быть домом для своих будущих детей, если бы я вообще работала.  Я вышла замуж в 21 год, через 2 года у меня родился первый ребенок, и в конце концов я перестала работать, чтобы остаться дома с детьми.  Я очень люблю свою семью, но долгое время я боролась с тяжелой депрессией, потому что мне было недостаточно быть женой и матерью и заниматься домашними делами.  Я чувствовала, что в моей жизни все еще не хватает огромной части, и я чувствовала себя ТАК виноватым за это.

Мы с мужем покинули церковь год назад и решили больше не заводить детей, что, по мнению моих родителей, душераздирающе и эгоистично (у нас всего двое).  Я все еще борюсь с чувством вины и никчемности, когда дело доходит до того, чтобы быть женой и матерью, но мне становится лучше.  Я нахожусь в пути, чтобы найти то, что мне нравится, только для меня.  Мне кажется, что я так сильно отстала, и мне довольно сложно думать о том, чтобы вернуться в школу и получить другую степень бакалавра.  К счастью, мой муж очень меня поддерживает, и я знаю, что он сделает все, чтобы мне помочь."

 

 

А это перевод,для тех,кто не понимает на английском.

[Verman]

3 hours ago, Bercana said:

I think, that's figure of speech

 

How about it

 

 

[Bercana]

22 минуты назад, Verman сказал:

 

How about it

 

 

Who knows....

[konan1982]

WTF is this? 

[basir]

What we have to do about it

[ll IcE EyeZ ll]

может и не права , но по мне  в далеком прошлых веках женщина нужна была для рождения воин, чтобы те потом воевали за ненасытных толстосум(да и Щас в приоритете дети мужского пола в некоторых странах, особенно в муслумских стран) Поэтому такое поощерение женщин сидет дома и рожат, да и ухаживать за мужа и стирать его носки

Мир меняется, слава богу, но пропаганда материнства нет. 

[Джо Дассен]

Почему мы должны видеть это на английском языке?

Может форум стал уже англоязычным